-I will start a PhD in October. I am scared, excited and worried. I am really grateful to A for having pushed me this far, and I will probably rely on him to push me further. I have very little self-belief and the fact that I finally plucked up the courage to apply late last year is all down to him. The fact that I will be able to do it at all is also all down to his support.

-I like being alone. So does A. It’s nice that we both understand this about each other.

-I get really, really irritated with the way Sushma Swaraj dresses, with only one side of her coat showing, though it is none of my business (just saw her on TV. Not too hot about her politics either).

-I watch rubbish films at night when I need to unwind. The latest phase has involved Rekha and Jeetendra movies on youtube and Telugu movies with subtitles. Some of these have been REALLY BAD, but my Hindi has improved as a result and I have learned a few Telugu words, which is useful for my Carnatic music.

-I have changed my mind about arranged marriages. I was opposed to them many years ago, but over time have accepted that it is one way of finding companionship in a society that still places such a high value on the institution of marriage. I love being married and if someone finds happiness though the arranged route, then good for them. I still do oppose some forms of arranged marriage, however, and get really cross when people who appear not to place any value on caste in all other areas of their life and are seemingly cosmopolitan, insist on finding someone from their own caste.

We recently came across a guy who claimed caste did not matter to him, but that for his parents’ sake, he would only marry a girl of his caste, though he had found someone compatible of another caste on one of those matrimonial websites. This was a guy who had advertised that “caste” was “no bar” to him. It may be easier to marry someone from the same caste, but what about the richness different backgrounds add to a relationship? I am so glad that my future children will have traditions and heritages from all over India mixed up in them. I keep reading/hearing young people claiming that caste doesn’t matter so much in today’s India. If you claim it doesn’t matter then you should reflect that in your personal life and be open to marrying someone of a different caste. Maybe a few battles with parents will ensue, but surely this is a battle worth having?

-Have become a lot fonder of my own body, but still occasionally feel very unsexy and want to be curvy and voluptuous.

-I would like to study Sanskrit, but have to put it off for a few years.

-I started liking Carnatic music because it sounded so sensuous and sexy. It replaced the place of rock music in my life. Probably be flamed by the Bhakti warriors if I say this elesewhere…but I don’t see that bhakti and sensuality are mutually discordant as it were.

-I HATE getting my hair done. It HURTS. I feel hair stylists are unnecessarily aggressive.

-I love twitter

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It was a very small and intimate wedding at the registrar’s office with a civil service followed by a garden party. I alternated between grinning widely and shedding a few tears. A and I have been in loco parentis to her for a few years and it really felt like my baby was growing up. A and I exchanged a few smiley/tearful looks, remembering our own wedding. My parents were beside themselves with happiness. My family adores their new son-in-law. His relatives made a few very moving remarks about my sister and the difference she had made to their lives when they were making speeches and that made me tear up again. They are planning to have another, bigger wedding in India next year. This is the second Indian-English marriage amongst our close relatives. My sister’s husband’s aunt is also married to an Indian.

We travelled in an old routemaster from the civil service to the garden party, making a tour of London on the way, drinking,singing and talking and waving at tourists who decided to take photos of the wedding party on the bus. The bus had the bride and groom’s name on the front with the wedding date. It was really nice sitting on the top deck as the weather was fantastic. There had been a hailstorm the night before, so we hadn’t been very optimistic about the weather!

One of the best things about the wedding was that my sister’s friends made almost everything. She wore a sari for the ceremony chosen by a friend who came over from Bombay, and then changed into a dress hand-made by her friend for the garden party. The flowers were done by friends, as was the cake. All were absolutely gorgeous, done with such care and love. Another friend hosted the garden party and put the marquees up. I felt overwhelmed and proud that my sister and her husband have so many friends who love them so dearly, as we do.

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Camellias

Front Garden

Bluebells in front garden

Lily of the Valley Buds. They have a delicious scent.

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In ghungat mode:

Emerging for a conversation:

Standing on one of A’s shoelaces:

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