Comments on: The Survivors' View on Domestic Violence

By: Pixie

Pixie — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:38:02 +0000

First visit here and loved your writing
I worte about this too, except that it’s my friend who is in an abusive relationship and didn’t do anything about ti for more than 2 yrs!!

is she doing something now?

By: ammani

ammani — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 19:07:55 +0000

Oh god! Where does one begin? Such attitudes just make me so angry, so depressed…so helpless! (

By: Abuse – A space of one’s own

Abuse – A space of one’s own — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 15:50:57 +0000

[...] read, in quick succession, a couple of posts on domestic violence. It got me thinking. Why do men beat up their wives? Anger? Passion? [...]

By: Anjali

Anjali — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 05:19:56 +0000

Hi Ra, quite agree with the lady who put that comment.

It is not easy to be single, especially in India. Neighbours, strangers, nosey families, unwanted attention, harassment – lots of problems associated with it.

Living alone may not come easy for many people. Human beings do look for companionship. Family support may not go on for long. And everybody’s life is different. Some people may find it easy to make friends or find a partner. Some may not..

Also, not being in a long term partnership and being in and out of relationships can take a toll on the emotional well being of a person, particularly if she believes in and wants love that lasts.

I think what I am saying is that a person in an abusive relationship does weigh pros and cons, she is torn. It’s not an easy acceptance for her by any stretch of imagination.

By: Solilo

Solilo — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 22:20:42 +0000

Seriously! even the educated and working women stay back in such abusive relationship just fearing society. Actually it isn’t that bad for them any more. Few people will talk and then forget and go on with their daily routine. One of my cousins, walked out of her abusive relationship, remarried after 2 years and now living happily with 2 children.

Also a lot depends on parents’ support. If parents don’t support their daughter and ask her to put up with the abuse then it is pity and sad. Teach your daughters to stand on their own feet.

I think the one you mentioned about ‘attracted to violence’ must be a type of ‘Stockholm syndrome’ where in the victim slowly gets used to the tormentor and gets used to it. Sad though!