Thinking of you
It was at this time of the year three years ago that the phone rang very, very early in the morning and we heard the news that a friend of ours had taken her life, in this city. We jumped out of bed and raced out into the cold London night.
She was so beautiful, she was so young, she sang and danced and was a brilliant scholar in one of the finest universities in the world.
I wasn’t very close to her in the sense that we did not meet and talk often. But our lives had constantly overlapped. Our parents knew each other, we had played and squabbled together as children, though we had been brought up in different cities. I later joined the same school she went to, she was a year senior to me. I inherited a text book. I loved the way she wrote on history. I wanted to write like that.
She helped me through our kallari class which I found very difficult in the first few days. She would walk up and down the room with me to help me get the movements right. She knew A at school too and later she and A went to the same university and were in touch more frequently that she and I were. Through him, I inherited a large cushion of hers, and a telephone. The cushion is still in my study, the cover fading, but I can’t bear to replace it.
I feel a deep stabbing pain at this time of the year when I am reminded of her. What must it be like for her family?
She was a person who was very deeply affected by communal violence. She was a child when the anti-Sikh riots took place, but she remembered their terror. Later,the violence between Hindus and Muslims was a huge source of pain.
Sometimes, I think the grief of the world was too much for her and she turned it inwards. So often, when I feel tired, and I think, it’s no use, fighting for peace, when yet another terrorist attack takes place, or we see yet another episode of intolerance or communal violence in the sub-continent, when I feel a violent response building up in me, I think of her and how she inspired people with her intelligence, even from a distance, and the anger fades. The prayer for peace, both on an internal, very personal level and at a much larger level, returns.
Ra,
I can understand what you must have felt 3years back and what you are feeling right now.I had a similar experience a couple of days back.I lost a dear friend.No,she didnt take her life.Her destiny played a cruel joke on her.She was electrocuted. We too were not close friends,per se,but were in constant touch whatsoever.And to suddenly know she is not there amongst us anymore,makes me wonder how unfair life can be.Everyday,as I look at my daughter,my heart goes out to my friend’s 7year old daughter who is deprived of being with her mother ever again.
Please accept my prayers for your friend’s soul to rest in peace.May she continue to be an insipiration to you and her family.
may her soul rest in peace…
and the riots and the terror always leaves a mark whatever ur age… i was all of 8 yrs when the delhi riots happened but i still remember a lot and have really bad memories
Hi Ra,
I pray your friend’s soul rests in peace. She seems a genuine, sensitive and passionate person.
For some time now, I have begun to believe that peace inside is crucial for peace outside.
I do pray to God for calmness and stillness for I myself get perturbed by happenings, personal or others, and a perturbed mind can’t do much.
Yes, prayer for peace is important.
Warmly,
Anjali
May her soul rest in eternal peace.
I think I know who you were speaking of- three years ago I was at a lunch with people who knew her well, and they had just heard the news and were devastated. She sounded like a remarkable person. Such a sad end to such a promising life.
“The prayer for peace, both on an internal, very personal level and at a much larger level, returns. ”
i couldn’t have said it better.i have been praying for palestine for more than 15 years now…if u grew up in the middle east thats one of the things which become a part of life.
praying is all that helps me to deal with whats been happening in the middle east.
She sounds like a very special person. To inspire such a beautiful tribute years after she’s gone from someone who only knew her fleetingly. Such a pity she’s gone.
Thanks. It was a little more than fleetingly, I always assumed she would be THERE and then she wasn’t.